Hellsing Games
by DopeyTheChosen1
Summary: Some little kid shows up and changes all the characters, and won't change them back until they play a bunch of games with him. my 1st hellsing fic, so be nice and R&R! if you've read the 'new inuyasha' you may like this one.
1. Prologue:THe hairbrush of doom

A HELLSING WEEKEND 

PROLOGUE : THE RETURN OF THE MAGICAL HAIRBRUSH OF DOOM.

-0-

It was a rainy, stormy day outside Hellsing headquarters. Seras Victoria was at the computer, googling whatever she felt like. The Geese were all over the castle, doing God knows what. Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing (sorry, I like typing out her name) was in her office pretending to do paperwork. Walter was no where to be seen, probably got a vacation to Disney land or something. Alucard was in the basement, playing…Candyland with…some little kid who had shown up and began annoying him.

Truthfully, he had no idea how he had got talked into the game. The kid he was playing with was a four year old with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. He seemed bored with the whole thing. When Alucard refused to take his turn and sat back on the couch instead, the little boy began wailing. Alucard didn't pay any attention. There was always somebody wailing in the old castle. Preferably Pip.

After about five minutes of the wailing and sobbing and crying, the kid didn't stop. Alucard finally got sick of it and swapped him on the head. "I don't even know what you're doing here, so get out!" The little kid stared at him with those big blue eyes. Alucard stared back with his red ones, glaring. "Where did you come from?"

The boy stared some more. Then he suddenly jumped up and grabbed Alucard's hat, running of with it, yelling, "Tag! You're it!"

"You stupid little turd!" Alucard jumped off the couch when he heard a voice on the intercom. Intercom? Since when had they had an intercom?

"Mr. Vampire," it was the little brat who had taken Alucard's hat. "I dink this game is boring. So 'n'tead of tag, can we pway hide 'n' go seek?" The intercom switched off.

Well, at least Alucard knew where the brat was now. The only place where the intercom had a speaker that would reach the basement was Integra's office.

-0-

Integra Wingates Hellsing (I like to type her name) was in her office, doodling on a very important report on the production of ghouls. What she was doodling came as a surprise to everyone…except Alucard. He spied on her from time to time and knew that she was constantly doodling rabbits and cats. She even had a hidden space in her closet where she hid Beenie Babies.

Anyway, she was in her office doodling on important pieces of paper and smoking one of her favorite cigars when the door burst open and a small boy burst in. He was panting, but smiling all the same. What caught her attention was what was clutched to his heaving chest in tiny arms. Her servant's hat.

"You really shouldn't have that, you know." She advised.

"But Mr. Vampire won't play with me. So now I'm going to play hide and seek with his hat." The boy beamed proudly.

"Okay," Integra smiled to herself as she drew the boy waving Alucard's hat out of the vampire's reach. "Just tell him that Integra said no if he gives you any trouble."

"Okay!" The boy took off into the next door. A few minutes later, when Integra was putting on the final touches of her doodle, there was a loud shriek that caused her hand to go all screwy and mess it up.

She tried to control her temper as she walked to the door, snapping the pen in half as she did and spilling ink all over her new suit. Now she was really pissed.

She swung open the door to find things exactly as she expected them. Alucard had the kid pinned down with one foot and was putting his hat on and smiling venomously.

"AL…U…CARD." Integra said through gritted teeth.

Her servant looked away from his prey. "Ah, Master, do you know anything about this…about this…" He stopped when he saw her face. "Um…Um… It was Pip."

"What are you doing? You screwed up my reports—"

"Doodles." Alucard corrected.

"And my new suit," Integra's eyes flashed. "And now you're beating up on a four year old! Can't you find something that isn't annoying to keep yourself from being bored!?"

Alucard though about it, as though his master were really asking him a question. "Nope." Which she wasn't.

"That's it!" Integra barked. "Get out of here, NOW!"

"Okay, okay okay." Alucard retreated a few steps away from her, taking his foot off the boy who quickly sprung to his feet. Alucard was halfway down through the floor when the boy laughed triumphantly. "What is it now?" Alucard asked, rolling his eyes.

"This." The boy was waving a brown hairbrush with black bristles around his head. In it's handle sparkled a blue gem. "This is The Magical Hair Brush Of Doom." He laughed again.

"It's…a hairbrush." Alucard raised an eyebrow. "You know, you brush your hair with it."

"Not so," the boy's eyes glinted. "Just take a look at your hair."

"My h—" Alucard was interrupted by Integra, who was doubled over in laughter. "What? What did he do!?"

"Your…your HAIR!" Integra was laughing some more. "Oh my GOD!"

"What?" Alucard demanded. The boy went over to the vampire, grabbing some of his long ex-black hair from the back of his head and showing it to him. But to do this, he had to rip out a large handful. Alucard winced and bared his fangs at the kid, until he saw his hair. He just stared at it, his mouth hanging open. "You…YOU TURNED IT PINK!?"

"Hot pink to be exact." The boy smiled, and jumped out of the way when Alucard swiped at him.

Integra, who had managed to calm herself down, burst into laughter again.

"Hnn…" Alucard wadded up his hot pink hair and stuffed it under his hat. "Damn it. How'd you do that?"

"I told you, this is The Magical Hair Brush Of Doom." The kid said matter of factly. "And this gem in here can grant the user's wish."

"Really?" Alucard eyed him with his red eyes (what else would he use to eye someone?).

"Yup." The boy held out the hairbrush, "You wanna' try it?"

Alucard snatched it away, smiling again. He came up to the floor, pointed the hairbrush at Integra and…nothing happened. "What the hell?" He shook it and threw it on the ground. "Damn it!"

Then there was a shriek from below. "WHAT THE HELL!?" Sera came running up to Integra's room. "What the hell happend to me!?" He skin had turned green, and her orange eyes stuck our really well.

"Looks like Alucard turned you g—" Integra's voice turned into a bunch of squawks.

"What in hell?" Seras raised an eyebrow as Integra began transforming into a big goose, which began pulling on Alucard's hat.

After fighting with the vampire for a few minutes, the Integoose managed to pull it off, revealing his hair. Seras looked at her master…then she and the goose broke into laughter. Alucard took out his guns and pulled the trigger and…a sign that said 'bang!' popped out of them. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

He whipped around to face the kid. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?

"I'm changing you all," the kid explained. "So I can make you do what I say."

"And what is that?"

The kid reached under the bed and pulled out a card game. "Play this with me to get turned back to normal."

"WHAT?" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him. "Are you serious?" Seras demanded. "I suck at board games!"

"That will make it all much more interesting." The kid said. "Now, let's play Monopoly!"

-0-

THE END!

-0-

Let me know if you have any game ideas! Like card or board games!

-0-

Oh, just so you know, this is like a sequel to my biggest InuYasha Story: ThE nEw InUyAsHa. If you want to know about the Hairbrush's origin, you should check that out.

-0-


	2. Monopoly

CHAPTER ONE : MONOPOLY

-0-

"Okay, does everyone know how to play?" The kid asked.

Everyone nodded. Integoose squawked.

"Good." The kid rolled the dice. "Whoever gets the highest number goes first and gets to pick their marker first." He rolled a 12. "Highest number, I get to pick first."

Everyone else rolled. They all got 11s, except Alucard who got a 1. He began pouting. The kid picked his choice piece, the dog. "NO!" Alucard screamed. "I WANT THE LITTLE DOGGY!" Everyone stared as he nearly bit off the kid's hand and snatched the little silver dog away from him.

"Hey! But I picked first!" The kid waved the hairbrush around threateningly. Alucard made no move to surrender the dog. "Give it to me!" He waved the brush around so much that there was a 'POOF!' and in the middle of the game board was Luke and Jan Valentine.

The two looked around and Jan said, "We're FXXking back!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING HERE!?" Seras jumped back.

"Whoa." Jan was laughing at her. "You're green!" Then he leaped in the air as Integoose bit him.

Alucard was eyeing Luke. "You know," he told him. "You didn't taste all that good."

"Your welcome." Luke said sarcastially, "I _really_ care how I taste more than _how the hell I got here_."

"That kid got mad at me and poof! Here you are." He looked at where Integoose was yanking out tuffs of Jan's hair. "Is he going to be a problem?"

"I hope not." Luke stepped off the board. "What are you doing?"

"This kid wants us to play Monopoly." Alucard sighed. "If we want to go back to normal."

"I can see that with the other two, but what happened to you?" Luke asked innocently.

Alucard glared at him. "Nothing."

"Oh, then why are you here?"

"Because I don't want anything to happen to me." Alucard said, thinking fast. Suddenly he picked up a cat that happened to walk by, held it to his face, and mumbled, "Good wittle kitty, ain't you? Wes you are, wes you are." He let it go and turned to Luke, who was raising his eyebrows. "What?"

"You just, uh—" He was hit in the face by Integoose.

"Oh, shit." Jan said, a baseball bat in his hand. "Sorry, bro!"

"ENOUGH!" The kid, who everyone had forgotten about, said. "If you two are not going to play, let me know."

"We have a choice?" Luke asked.

"Yup."

"Then, I won't."

"Yeah, me neither." Jan agreed.

"Good, we could use some more pieces." The kid waved the wand at them.

They shrunk to the size of the other playing pieces. Alucard immiedatly grabbed Luke and taped him to the dog. Integoose picked Jan up in her beak and dropped him into the shoe.

"What about me?" Seras whined. "Don't I get a living piece?"

Just then Pip decided to walk on in. There was a ZAP! and he was as small as the Valentine brothers. Seras squealed in delight and picked him up. She put him on the board with the other pieces. He asked her what in hell was going on.

"You're going to be my playing piece," Seras explained. Pip went to the money bag, but instead Seras stuck him on the thimble. "This is my lucky piece. Don't let your bad luck cross it out."

The kid, who was still pouting about not having the dog, so he decided to have his revenge. He waved the brush at Alucard and in a puff there he was on the board too.

"WHAT!? I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PLAY!" He said, tossing his guns at the goose, Seras picked them up and put them in her pocket.

Alucard got into the car, sitting down and pouting.

The kid looked at the board. There were three people playing, but four pieces. "We need another player." He said. "Anyone know someone who would like to play?"

"Uh…" Seras and Integoose looked at eachother. Then a deadly smile came across Integoose's face, that is, if geese CAN smile. "I think I know of somone."

Alucard had an uneasy feeling about the way she was looking at him.

-0-

Alexander Anderson was on his way to nowhere in particular when there was a WHOOSHING! noise and, there he was, at a table in Hellsing Headquarters. There was a Monopoly game all set up. Also at the table was a little boy, Alucard's servant vampire, and…a goose.

(I can't make him sound like he does in the manga, so I'm just going to make him talk like a regular person…if that's possible)

"What's going on here?" He eyed the goose warily. "What's up with the goose?"

"Um…" Seras got a big sweatdrop. "That would be Sir Integra. We sort of have an accident going on around here."

"What in Hell?" Anderson realized that Seras wasn't…herself… "Yer' green."

"Yeah, that's what happened to me. Now in order to get back to normal we all have to play with this little kid."

"What do I have to do with anything?"

"Well, there are only three players, but four pieces." Seras explained.

"So?"

"So we need another player." She pointed out. "And if you want you can use Alucard as your piece."

"WHAT?!" Anderson looked down at the board, noticing the tiny vampire in the car. "NO WAY!"

"I can use him as a piece…" Anderson smiled (though he's just about always smiling, isn't he?). "Sure."

"One more touch to it all." The kid announced. He waved the hairbrush over the playing pieces…and they became real.

"What!?" Jan shouted defiantly. "Why the hell am I stuck in a fXXking boot and that fXXking Alucard gets a Fu--" Alucard rammed into his boot with the car. "-- cking car?"

"Because I'm special." Alucard giggled. "Whatsa' matter? You don't like games?" He giggled some more, much to the distress of the players, and then Luke's dog jumped onto him, knocking him out of the car.

Luke waved over to Jan, who ditched the boot and got in the car. The two ran off, not out of joy, but of fright. Why? Alucard was hauling the CANNON around. And remember, it wasn't a tiny little piece of silver anymore, this thing was real.

So, while the four players decided who was going to go first, there pieces were running around, destroying the board.

Alucard was after Jan, who was in the car, burning out and trying to do donuts (mainly he ended up crashing into something or other).

Luke was trying to get the tape off of the dog and free himself.

Pip was hiding under the thimble, which the dog was, er, "claiming". Too bad that there were holes in it, so he got pretty soaked.

But soon it was time to roll the dice.

Pip had come out from hiding under his thimble, and Alucard had tied the cannon to the car, and was now driving around. Jan was chasing him, and Luke's dog had settled down for a nap. That was fine with Luke, until the dog rolled over on its back.

The dice were about, say, twice the size as the "minnies" on the board. One landed right in front of Jan, who had reclaimed the car, and he crashed into it, the little automobile bursting into flames (he sure has bad luck with fire, doesn't he?). This caused the cannon to go off, and a cannon ball hit Alucard in the head (this wouldn't have hurt him, but the cannon ball was still silver). The other die (dice, whatever) crushed Pip's thimble as he was about to go under it, so he ran away and found a 'hotel' to hide under. The rogue die bounced off the thimble, landing beside the dog with such force that it made the dog panic and it ran around in circles, trying to bite its rider.

All in all, the board was dead.

"Um…why don't we play something else?" Seras suggested. Then she slapped Anderson, who had picked up the midget Alucard and was swinging him around, obviously enjoying his advantage.

"Like what?" The kid asked.

Just then, they heard Anderson laugh, seeing Alucard's hat fall off. The vampire bit him on his finger, ripping the skin under the glove and was dropped to the floor, right on top of Jan, who was trying to put out his flaming body. The pink haired vampire immediately caught fire too.

Luke had finally gotten the tape unwound and was now backing away from the snarling dog. (hm. sounds familiar, don't it?) And Pip was trapped under the hotel, which, in the end, had been smashed by both of the dice at the same time.

"Uh…" Seras was trying to think of a game that she didn't completely suck at. "How about…"

"NO! NO MORE GAMES, DAMN IT!" Alucard said, dodging Anderson again.

"Anderson, stop it." Integoose commanded. He didn't. She turned to the boy. "Can you do something about this?"

The boy nodded, and in a whoosh, Anderson was gone.

"THANK you." Alucard sat down on the edge of the table. "Now, how about you make me normal size again, hmm?"

"Nah, you're cute when you're so little." The kid said.

"Why, thank you." Alucard began giggling again. "Wait, is that a no?"

"Yup. And now I want to play something else." The kid said.

"Like what?" Seras asked. She'd do anything to get her skin back to normal.

-0-


	3. Obstacle Course part 1

CHAPTER TWO : OBSTICAL COURSE part 1

-0-

"Okay, now what are we gonna' play?" Jan asked. "It had better be better than that last one." He had managed to put the flame out, but then Alucard, who had caught fire too, had crashed into him, starting it all up again. "Does this one involve cars?"

"Hmm…" The kid thought a minute, playing with the hairbrush. After a few minutes he sat it down and spun it, nearly killing Pip who had gotten in the way. When it was done spinning, the jewel at the end was pointing at no one in particular, the front door actually.

"Guess you had better spin it again." Seras said, guessing that he was going to choose what to play by doing this somehow. She first thought that he didn't here her when he didn't do anything. She was going to repeat herself when the door opened and in walked Walter.

He had a suitcase in one hand and his overcoat in the other. He sat the case down by the door and hung up the coat. He walked right by the group, not taking any notice of the goose, little kid, green Seras, shrunk Pip, Jan, or Alucard…who, Alcuard that is, was now following a very distressed Luke around, giggling his head off.

Once he had walked pass them, he did a double take and came back out. "Do I even want to know what trouble you've gotten yourselves into while I was gone?"

Seras was going to shake her head, but the kid said, "Congratulations, you get to pick the next game that we play."

"Excuse me?" Walter asked. "May I ask…" He noticed the 'minnies'. "…what the hell is going on?"

The kid was about to explain himself when he was interrupted by Alucard, who had managed to get up on Walter's shoulder. "Well, that kid got pissed at me and now he won't change us back to normal until we play some stupid board games with him. If I were you, I'd get the hell out of here before he does something to you to. He's pretty dangerous, actually." Alucard was thrown into another fit of giggles. When Walter inquired about his hair, he said, "Yeah, this is what happened to me. Then he shrunk me too."

"Why don't we play a betting game?" Walter asked, flicking the giggling vampire off his shoulder. He landed on the nearby wall with a splat. "You know, we can set up some sort of contest for…Pip, Alucard, and the Valentines."

The other players agreed with this, so the four competitors were locked up in a box while the normal sized humans…and vampire...went to get a course set up for them.

Inside the box, Alucard was rolling on the floor, giggling. He didn't stop when look and Jan shot at him either. If anything, seeing his own blood made him laugh more. It was too much for Pip, it was totally unnerving to see the most feared vampire he knew of rolling on the floor, giggling like a little girl. And to top it off he had hot pink hair!

The captain suggested, to but it bluntly, an evasive action. Jan got on Luke's shoulders, and then Pip climbed up onto Jan. There plan was to send one of them to the top of the box, and then they would figure out how to get the other two out of there prison. Unfortunatly, Integoose was still mad at them all, and had dropped the Monopoly dog into the box, which attacked Luke, making him drop his brother, who, in turn, dropped Pip. Alucard giggles became laughter. But it wasn't his old, evil laughter. This was still the laughter of a little girl.

"Alucard," Pip said, desperately. "What in hell is wrong with you?

Alucard picked himself off of the floor of the box, wiping his eyes and giggling again. "I…I don't know." He said. When he saw the shocked faces of his…boxmates, he asked, "What?"

"You…" Pip began, but he turned away.

"What? You what?" Alucard put his hands on his hips and began ranting. "What? Is it that bad that you can't tell me?" We walked up to Pip, his hands behind his back, and said shyly, "You can tell me ANYTHING, Pippy."

"PIPPY!?" Jan nearly died. "WHAT THE FXXK IS GOING ON WITH YOU MAN!?"

Alucard began giggling. "I DO love attention." He waltzed over to Jan. "What? You want me too?"

"Now, wait a minute…" Pip began, still in shock from his little episode with the vampire.

He didn't get to finish, because Alucard cut right in. "Oh, now you're fighting over me." He giggled again, lowering his eyes. "You don't have to do that. There's enough of me to go around." He waved over to Luke, who was cowering from in the corner, guarded by the dog that had fallen asleep at his feet. "What's wrong, Lukey-poo? Don't you want some of me? Just about everybody does." Luke didn't look away from the dog. "Fine, if that's how you feel." Alucard turned his attention back to Pip and Jan, saying to Luke, "You don't want to miss out on THIS do you?"

The reason Pip and Jan didn't comment on 'Lukey-poo' was because they were to busy dealing with the fact that they had just been scarred for life. Seeing a powerful, male vampire act like a stupid, female slut could do that to you, you know.

The worst part was, Alucard was full of himself now. Not that he hadn't been in the past, but not like THIS.

He waltzed over to Luke, stepping on the dog's tale. It jumped up and began barking at the vampire…slut…thing. He shrieked and jumped into Luke's arms. "Oh, Luke, you're so strong." He said, stroking Luke's chin.

Luke dumped him on the dog and ran to cower behind his brother, who cowered behind Pip, who said, "Why am I in front?"

"Oh, why are you guys being like that?" Alucard asked. "Are you really so scared of me?" He brushed back his long, pink hair and giggled some more, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

After a few minutes of a staring contest between the three and the one…whatever, did that make sense? Anyway, after a few minutes of Alucard glaring at the other three captives, the lid of the box opened up and they were picked up by Walter.

"I do believe that this will be most interesting for you." He told them as he sat them down on a table. It had what looked like the beginning of a Hotwheels race track on one end. Seras, Integoose, and The Kid were sitting at the other end. "The rules are very simple, do whatever you can, _short of killing other players_, to get to the finish line. You can destroy anything you want, _other than other players_. There will be arrows at different points, directing where you are suppose to go and…" His attention came to Alucard, who was now having a hissy-fit about having to where 'guy clothes'. "…Do you mind?"

Alucard blushed. "Sorry." S/he said.

Walter finished explaining the rules. All they had to do was get to the other end of the room. There would be bets on them, and Walter assured them that it whoever Integoose was betting on lost, that person would pay the price.

None of them liked the idea about pissing off an overgrown goose.

"Uh," Pip hesitated to ask, as the goose was glaring at him. "Who's betting on me winning?" No one spoke.

Jan shot his hand up in the air. "How many of you fXXkers are betting on ME?" Seras actually had to hide her laugh behind her hand.

"I'm guessing that means none of them have much faith in either of you." Luke smirked.

"Now now, Lukey," Alucard scolded. "Don't be that way." Even if he was just feminine in personality, that made it all worse than if he actually WAS a woman. The vampire put a comforting hand on his, er, 'buddy's' shoulder. "Don't start anything."

"Oh, like you don't." Pip muttered under his breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Alucard turned his attention to Pip, murder written all over his face. "YOU WANNA' SAY THAT AGAIN?!"

Pip shrunk behind Jan, who tried to get behind Pip again, but Integoose flicked him toward the beginning of the race track.

"Now, the beginning is very simple." Walter told them. "You all choose a car—"

"OOH! OOH!" Alucard interrupted, sitting on a pink car with little hearts on it. "I WANT THIS ONE!"

Walter pinned him to the ground, under his finger, and continued. "You will all choose a car and go sailing down to the floor on it. Then the arrows will direct you. As you can see, you all get your own lane." He let Alucard up. "Now, choose your car."

-0-

"Are you sure about this?" Pip asked as the four were getting ready to go. Each had their own car (Alucard got the pink one) and was in their own lane, right behind one of those Hotwheel things that make the cars zoom ahead.

"Nope." Walter assured him as he pushed the four cars forward. "Good luck!"

The four cars went zooming ahead. The race was on.

-0-

Okay, time to vote : whose point of view should this be?

Alucard

Luke

Jan

Pip

A little big of everyone

Character suggestion: they have to be in either the first or second volume of the Hellsing manga, that's how far I am right now…

-0-

please review!!


	4. Obstacle Course part 2

Obstacle Course: Part Two   
-H-   
As the three cars shot down the track, Alucard's shot ahead of the rest. The idiot turned around to laugh at the losers behind him. In doing so, he didn't see the approaching ZOOM THINGY and shot ahead. That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the part where a turn was right after that and so he was sent flying through the air…and into a box…   
As the other three went by his prison, they could hear him singing "Trapped in a Box".   
Jan and Luke were going side by side. "This isn't very bad, is it bro?" Jan yelled over the sound of the wind.   
"No, not at all!" Luke agreed. Then he found himself crashing into his brother as the tracks merged. The two went sailing through the air and landed in the litter box and Pip took the lead.   
Zooming ahead, Pip couldn't believe he was ahead. He thought that one of the vampires would have killed him by now. He looked back to see Alucard's box rocking around as the vampire tried to free himself. The Valentines were picking themselves up trying to get their cars back on the track.   
He laughed and turned around front to see an approaching loop. He probably would have made it, but the other cars had revived themselves and now they were all headed for the same loop.   
-H-   
"This," Walter said. "Isn't good."   
"Ya think?" Seras raised an eyebrow. "This is gonna hurt." She smiled then. "At least it isn't us, is it?" She began laughing anime style and was interrupted by a mini explosion. "Ooh."   
Now that all the cars were gone, the minis were running for the end. And much to Jan's distress, Alucard had decided to follow him around now. 

"This is getting way to easy," Integra said. "I think we should make it more interesting."

"I know just what you mean!" The Kid said and waved the hairbrush. As the minis came to a jump, meteors began to rain down on them. "There! That's better!"

"I was thinking of bringing in the cat . . ." Integra said.

"Oh, well, that works too."

A big, black cat appeared in front of the four contestants. It looked from one to the other, and looked like it was about to jump, when Alucard somehow got on its head. "Kitty! Gid'yap!" Since the whiskers were really long, Alucard grabbed them and steered the cat.

"Hey you mother f00ker! That's cheating!" Jan yelled.

Luke picked up speed and shot ahead, ignoring his little brother's protests.

-H-

-Alucard's P.O.V-

I left the others in the dust and shot ahead on my new steed, Fluffy. We only had to get to the other end of the room, so I got there pretty fast. The only was, Fluffy didn't want to crash into the wall and dive into the mouse hole.

I didn't know why, but I respected that and got off of him. As I hit the ground running, Luke shot by me. That guy is fast! I took after him, but he got into the hole first.

That's when I noticed all of the little mices. "Hey, micies!" I said, waving to all of them and giggling. "Ah, they're all so cu—Uh…" I didn't like the way they were looking at me. I think they were . . .

"OH MY GOD!" I turned to see Pip and Jan arriving in the, uh, hole-way. "What the heck!? I think they're gonna eat us or something!"

"Calm down. They're just a bunch of mice." Luke said, keeping his cool. He was so CUTE! "We can take 'em."

"Hey, bro," Jan said. "Why don't we just feed the Girlyman to 'em?"

"Who, me?" I asked, pointing at myself. "Why would you do that?"

"Because you're really cree—" Pip didn't get to finish what he was going to say because the mice jumped on him and began to eat him!

-No POV-

"Oh my GOD!" Pip tried to wrestle the rat away. Everyone else just watched as he tumbled around on the floor. "Help me get it off!"

The other two men though, were having their own problems. Alucard was walking up to them in a very girlish manner, swinging his hips as he did so. "What's the matter boys? Mouse got your tongue?"

Jan was about to reply, but then a mouse really did have his tongue. The rodent rushed him, and somehow got his teeth through the vampire's tongue. Ouch.

"Alucard," Luke said, backing away. "This has gone to far. We all know that you're faking this, so cut it out."

"Faking?" The other vampire asked, sounding confused. "I'm not faking anything."

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?" Both vampires turned to see the rat standing over Pip. The mercenary had a knife in his hand and the rat was bleeding from his eye. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" It screamed before tumbling over, quite dead.

"Now's our chance guys!" Luke said, he and the others took off running. IN the end they came to an arrow and followed it out into the another room, where the normal sized persons were waiting for them.

"Well," Walter said. "I think that's a tie, wouldn't you say so?"

"Indeed." Integra said.

"I guess," Seras agreed.

"Yup," the Kid said, picking up the minis and putting them another box. "You guys wait in here while we think of something to do, alright?"

-H-

A/N: there you have it. I think this chapter was sort of a dud. Sorry, I promise the next chapter will be better. They're always better when the four are trapped in a box! hahaha! And I want some reviews, damn it! If you don't review, then I don't update!

Please help me out and send in some ideas, okay? I'm thinking of doing a new series of fics, all really random, but I want to finish this one first. By the way, the gem in the hairbrush belonged to Sesshomaru when it was originally in ThE nEw InUyAsHa.

-The Chosen 1


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